Erica 0:41

Well, hi, we're back our first episode of 2021. And let me tell you this new year looks a lot different from last new year. welcome to the life free of anxiety podcast, where each week we'll bring you another discussion to help you on your way to overcoming your fears. I'm Erica and together with dr. Charles Barr, a licensed clinical psychologist, specializing in anxiety. We'll be your guides on this journey to find a list of helpful free resources we offer head to lifefreeofanxiety.com Because you are not broken, you are not alone. And you are on your way to living a life free of anxiety. I was just listening back to our episode from last year and my goodness. It was a totally different time in the world. Very strange. Um, sorry, it's been a few weeks. We moved change, teaches you to give yourself permission to only do what you can and I'm telling you, the only thing we could do was move. It was quite the task. The only day it poured rain in Southern California in forever, and it has not rained since was the day we moved and we had a one-year-old um, our childcare fell through for the move. So I was. Trying to watch our kid and move. And it was a lot, it was a lot worst move of my life, but it's over. Thank God. And we're very happy where we are. So that's great too, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I use change principles a lot. I had to use them for this move because it was stressful. And that's the point of the program. It's not a secret pill. It is strategies and it is also relaxation exercises that do change you pretty much for life. Um, but I revisited a lot of those relaxation exercises I should say. And did them like crazy. They got me through the move, they got me through the holidays. They got me through coronavirus. Um, not that I had it, but like, you know, the stress of moving during this time and all that. And they help so much. Um, everything about change helps me with, with stuff like this, when things get super stressful. So I hope 2021 is the year you beat anxiety and you learn to just have these skills for whatever comes up, because moving is one of the most stressful things you can do. And so things like this are going to happen, right? We're always going to have to deal with stuff like this, no matter how we, how calm we get or w or whatever, we're still gonna have to dress come up. And we've had a number of people finish changed since we launched it online. And all the feedback has been amazing. I told you guys, I would fill you in about that. Um, I'm going to share more next episode because I've got to get that information together. Uh, but one story was super exciting at the beginning and end of the program, participants fill out a survey. Everybody does when they do change, we do a before and we do an after. Um, one of the graduates from our first group indicated that on a scale of one to 10, her daily happiness jumped to a nine and her daily anxiety dropped down to a one. Sorry that Sadie she's so excited. She just shook. But seriously, she did this program for 16 weeks. She has a happiness level of a nine now nine that's pretty good. Um, and this is the program she did with us. Just in 2020. So the one I've been telling you about, um, so on another question in general, the other question is in general, how satisfying do you find the way you're spending your life? These days? Every participant reported that their levels had increased to seven, eight or nine out of 10. And that is 16 weeks. Like I just said, so we're not selling you anything crazy. This is not snake oil. These are real results. Hundreds of thousands of people have done this program. It worked for Dr. BARR. It worked for me. Um, so we really do want to encourage you to check out change with two.com. We're keeping the price low because we want as many people as possible to do this during this pandemic when things are extra stressful. And I know some of you got stimulus checks recently. Um, the change program is much less than those checks, but it can give you your life back. So what a great way to use some extra cash. If you got some. And I seriously just can't stress it enough. So that's all I'm going to say about that. That is changed with two ways. Dot com. If you want to check that out here is our new year's episode from last year. Really good advice still in there, different time of life, like I said before. Um, but I am very excited to be back with you and Dr. BARR and I should be back with you next week for a new episode, but enjoy this best of episode. From 20, 20 new years with some great tips on how to take care of yourself and what new things we can do this year to better our happiness and ease our stress and anxiety. So let's go.

Dr. Charles Barr 5:21

Well, welcome to the life free of anxiety podcast and let me wish everyone a happy new year. That's right.

Erica 5:31

Uh, I was asleep by 10, but I have, uh, I have an almost nine month old. So that's my excuse.

Dr. Charles Barr 5:39

Well, that makes a difference. I did make it up to a midnight and, um, uh, one of my. I did. I did. And so one of my traditions is to, to, uh, try to have some kind of fireworks on new year's Eve. So I should have gone to

Erica 5:54

your house. I was a slave you're having

Dr. Charles Barr 5:57

fireworks the safe, insane kinds of things, but, uh, it takes some pre-planning to have them for four. Um, New year's day or new year's Eve. We have a good time and I hope our listeners had a good time and wow, 20, 20

Erica 6:16

can you believe? And even realize we left the decade, by the way, everyone's like, we're leaving the decade into a new, I was like, we are, I seriously didn't even think about it. And I was like the roaring twenties. I'm like what? I knew it was 2020, but like, I didn't think I just left a decade. Uh, maybe I missed it seriously. A mom thing. Like once you become a mom it's just survival every single day. You don't think about the last 10 years or the next 10 years. You're just thinking about today.

Dr. Charles Barr 6:42

That's right. That's right. One day at a time, one thing at a time. And, um, you know, you, especially when you have a small child, you really do want to stay in the present and, uh, be there with, with him. So, um, So today, uh, what would you like to talk about

Erica 7:02

Erica? Well, I think we could talk about the top three things that you should start doing this new years to effectively treat your anxiety on a daily basis. There's so much information out there that we wanted to kind of simplify it and break it down to what could we do that? Wouldn't. Really, you know, we're not going to give you some crazy list of chores that, um, you know, you're not going to be able to complete by the time it's February, we wanted to kind of simplify three

Dr. Charles Barr 7:33

things. Yeah. Are you talking about new year's

Erica 7:36

resolutions resolutions? Yes. The three ones we picked out for you. We

Dr. Charles Barr 7:40

said the word

Erica 7:45

we picked them for you this year. Um, but yes, we simplified it to three things that you're going to say. That doesn't sound so easy, but they are, and they're manageable once you. Try it is that, is that fair

Dr. Charles Barr 7:57

to say? And I think that is, I think that is what we want people to do is we want people to try it and we want to give you the best chance of success at it as we, that we can. Right. So, um, so let, let's start by talking about resolutions in general and for just a second, um, As one of the motivational speakers that I've read over time. And I can't remember which one it was, who was saying, this is people don't plan to fail. They fail to plan. And so we want to, I just

Erica 8:33

think about that,

Dr. Charles Barr 8:35

right? We, we want to help you plan to succeed in this year and, um, What better resolution to start a new year and start a new decade than to resolve to yourself that you will live free of anxiety, but you will have a life free of anxiety for this year,

Erica 8:56

for years

Dr. Charles Barr 8:56

to come and that it is possible. And so we want to try to give you some steps to help you on your way to doing that. And, um, See if we can't make it, uh, an easy thing for you to do and, um, a successful thing for you to do where you will make it part of your habit and it will become part of your lifestyle so that it just helps you all through life.

Erica 9:22

Right. And there is a one thing that Dr. BARR has worked on for you guys. It's a chart on how to manage, um, this and. Uh, we're going to have that on a new year's post on our Instagram and Facebook page. So you can find us there, life free of anxiety podcast. Actually, we're just under life free of anxiety on Facebook and Instagram, but that's where you're going to be able to kind of track the things that were, um, basically the little assignments we're going to give you for every day. So Dr. BARR, um, the licensed clinical therapist, you're listening to us, put that together for you and you can find it on our. Instagram or Facebook live free of anxiety and you can also connect with us there. Anyway. We'd love to hear

Dr. Charles Barr 10:04

from you. Good to remind people. Well, now, um, the first one is sleep. Uh, sleep is very important and our country, um, Operates on sleep deprivation. It appears. And, uh, the research is saying that that most of the people just don't get enough sleep that we don't give ourselves enough time in bed, uh, really resting and restoring. And, and so that can be a difficult thing. And it's especially important for our folks who are dealing with anxiety because anxiety takes a lot of energy. Takes a lot of energy to hold anxiety away and to hold it out away from us. And if we're tired, then it makes it much more difficult to, uh, keep the anxiety out and, and be calm and stay, keep the anxiety away from us. And so you have to have some resources to be able to do that. And that's why sleep deprivation is particularly. Uh, difficult when you're dealing with anxiety and yet anxiety is one of those things that interrupt sleep also. Right? So, so the first thing we want to do is to say, you really need to try to get sort of the gold standard is eight hours. And I know everyone's heard that before and you go, Oh yeah, well, I functioned on six and a half and I felt well when I was, when I was younger, I in fact did function on six and a half now. Whether I would have functioned better on more that's debatable and that may likely be true. And some people don't need that much. I understand that. But when you're dealing with anxiety, you probably do need that and maybe even more. And so I want you to really start trying to track. When do you go to sleep? When you get up, how many hours of sleep are you actually getting? So if you will start actually tracking that so that you can see, Oh, well, I routinely am only getting six and a half hours of sleep. I have to have seven and a half now to function well, or I don't function well. So as I've gotten older, I've needed more sleep and that's true across the board. Uh, young people and older people both seem to need more sleep.

Erica 12:33

I just need to sleep and I need like nine hours. I've always needed nine hours.

Dr. Charles Barr 12:39

All right. And that's not, that's not unusual. And so I want, I want people to pay attention to, to what their own individual needs are and really take seriously what that is. Yeah. Now tiredness is one of the things that can trigger anxiety and part of why it triggers anxiety is because when we're tired, our body's mechanism for making up for that is guess what? Adrenaline? That's interesting. Yeah. So adrenaline is, is what we're trying to keep at Bay. We're trying to keep that low in our systems because adrenaline creates that same feeling of anxiety. And, um, it's, it's part of the fight or flight mechanism, and we don't want you living in a fight or flight world. Right? We want you living without that adrenaline. And so. So we really want to keep the, the sleep going so that you're not tired and not pulling on the adrenaline system to be able to make up for the energy that you don't have because you didn't get

Erica 13:44

enough sleep. When I was in my anxious state, I would always hear how much energy it took to having anxiety. But what's interesting is I didn't always feel like I just used a ton of energy to be anxious. Does that make sense? So it was like if I was anxious, I wouldn't even necessarily feel tired after being anxious. So the only way I knew that I was using a lot of energy being anxious was just because I learned you are using a lot of energy. So I couldn't necessarily, my body wasn't necessarily telling me that. But knowing that information made me very aware that I was going to need. Enough sleep. And I, you know, wasn't going to be able to skimp on that. I I've always noticed that if I was running on less sleep and I felt tired that I, you know, could get anxious at that time. Like I was more vulnerable. I knew that I just didn't know. I could have also had a well rested day on the flip side. Gotten anxious and not known that I was burning so much energy. So it is something regardless to always, I think, pay attention to, it's kind of like a badge of honor in our society to not sleep for whatever reason, like to do so much and to not get need much sleep is something people are really proud of. I think. And I think you're right. I don't know where that came from. I, you know, I I've had to just say who cares, what other people think. I know what I need and I know what's best for me. So if everyone else wants to be sleep deprived. Okay. But I don't need that in my life. So.

Dr. Charles Barr 15:25

We, we also have the social pressure of, uh, honking at the water fountain or whatever at work, you know? And it's like, Hey, did you see what Jimmy Kimmel said? Or what Jimmy Fallon did? Or what Kobe?

Erica 15:38

Or like, I was asleep,

Dr. Charles Barr 15:40

you know, I was asleep. I'm like, well, what's wrong with you? Use it. You don't stay up and watch these things, you know? Um, so, so we get some social pressure that, that says you're supposed to be watching these things. This is part of pop culture, and this is what you're supposed to be doing. And, um, it just doesn't work out well, um, for a lot of folks right down to it. Yes. One of the things that, that we would like people to do then is to keep a sleep log. So we want you to write down when you go to bed, It's not hard. Uh, and then write down when you wake up, uh, and then you can start tracking, okay, how much sleep am I really getting? What do I need to do to increase the amount of sleep that I'm getting, if I'm not getting enough? And so it may mean you start going to bed. Uh, Earlier or you don't watch the 11 o'clock news. Um, that's really not a great way to go to bed anyway, all that negative information in your head. Right. But, but there are a number of things you can do like that, that will, will help you increase your, your hours sleep.

Erica 16:53

Something that I do for sleep that I've needed for a long time is magnesium. And I don't get, this is not our, our sponsor or anything, but I use something called calm, magnesium, and it's a powder. And that is super effective for. I mean, a lot of people with anxiety need magnesium anyway, from what I've read. Um, but this is a great thing to do before going to bed to not only fall asleep, but stay asleep if that's your issue. So I just wanted to put it out there that I pretty much can't live without that. It's called calm and it's, um, and it's a powder and you use very little a day, but makes a big difference. Cause I know it's easy to say, go get more sleep, but I just wanted to give a little, a little tip that works for me.

Dr. Charles Barr 17:37

No. Does it have anything else in it? Besides magnesium? I was wondering if it had some calcium in it. Cause cause those, those both would be very good for the nerves and the nervous system and also would help with, uh, cramps if you're having cramps at night or, um,

Erica 17:57

that's true. Like cramps, it can help with yeah. Oh, it looks like they make some with. Calcium and I, um, but I take a calcium supplement anyway. So yes, definitely a good things to, um, keep in mind. And you can ask your doctor if you think it might be any, you know, interact with anything. But I definitely it's a go-to for me. Okay,

Dr. Charles Barr 18:19

good. Good to know. All right. Nice tip. Number two is caffeine. Um, our country loves coffee. I know, I love, um, we drank, uh, sodas and we drank tea and, um, the coffee industry and the tea industry, the soda industry are huge industries and almost all of it has caffeine in it. The problem with us anxiety folks is that caffeine hypes up that very system. In our nervous system, it hypes up that system that carries the anxiety and our goal in treating anxiety is to keep that nervous system quiet as possible. And we can never keep it completely quiet because we use it all day long. Um, so, but what we're trying to do is to keep that system as quiet as possible and not let it get overstimulated and caffeine for, for a lot of anxiety folks, overstimulates that system and increases the likelihood that we will end up feeling anxiety and, uh, um, maybe even trigger a panic attack for us. So, so we don't want to. Get that anxiety system rolling. So one of the things for the new year we would like is for you to, uh, decrease and even eliminate the amount of caffeine that you have. And so on our little chart that we have for you is, uh, we have a little chart there that. Where you can just track, use tally marks and just track how many cups of coffee or tea, uh, sodas that you have, um, and be aware that diet soda still has caffeine in it. A lot of people drink, Oh yes. And tea. A lot of people. Oh, you said the same,

Erica 20:16

not chocolate. It doesn't have as much if it makes you feel better, but it still has it. I know it's sad. I have a friend who was allergic to chocolate, so it could be worse, right?

Dr. Charles Barr 20:28

Well, it could be, I know some folks that don't even like chocolate, I don't know. So, so I want, I want people to be careful with the amount of caffeine that they, that they're consuming and, uh, we can get it in lots of places. So if you'll just use a tally Mark, you know, and keep track of, okay, how many times did I have caffeine this week? Now, if you are, uh, um, A regular caffeine user. And you let's say you drink, uh, two cups of caffeine. I'll say caffeine instead of coffee or tea or soda or whatever. Let's say you have two, two cups of caffeine a day on a routine basis. And you start wanting to drop that out. I suggest that you go down to one cup a day. Instead of just going cold Turkey. Um, it is very possible to give yourself, um, a caffeine withdrawal, headache, and those are miserable. Um, they, they feel very much like migraine headaches. Uh, they can make you light sensitive and nauseated and, uh, just, uh, Almost render you non-functional and you don't really have to go through all of that. Uh, if you will cut down slowly on the caffeine intake. So if you track yourself for a week, let's say, and you find that you're consuming five or six beverages a week, a day that have caffeine, then you have a, uh, Pretty heavy caffeine intake. And so you're really gonna want to taper down because, okay. So I have a cup of coffee in the morning and I have two or three sodas during the day. And uh, it's like, wow, that adds, but what's

Erica 22:22

the goal here? Do we want to get off caffeine? Do we want to just cut

Dr. Charles Barr 22:27

down? Uh, get off caffeine, give yourself the best chance possible to deal with a life, have a life without anxiety. And, uh, caffeine just complicates the issue, uh, say, Oh, I have to have my caffeine. And it's like, well, try it without it. And see, and it may well be that you'll be able to do caffeine and still live a life without anxiety. But, um, It, it certainly adds to the problem rather than, uh, helping that's the problem. So we'd like for you to get off of it, if, if you can.

Erica 23:02

So I know it's totally a downer to hear get off caffeine and we're talking about it. Like it's really easy and, um, you know, you could be a new mom, you could be. Have seriously early hours. And you could find that that's, that's the only way you can get through life. But I will say this, I was a big caffeine lover to the point where, when I gave up coffee, people couldn't believe it. People are like what? Erica gave up coffee, because like I said, I need nine hours of sleep. And I don't like getting up early, but when I made the decision to do it, I learned how to live without it. You, at some point did live without caffeine as a child. Most likely you were caffeine free for the most part. You weren't drinking a coffee in the morning. Um, and so maybe your life wasn't as demanding then. But I just want to say I made the decision a long time ago because it truly was best for me with my panic attacks to get off of it and to stay off of it. Um, some people I think can get back on it after a while, but I, I found that I really couldn't, but I just want to say I went through being a new mom without caffeine this year. And so it is possible. Thank you. But I just, I just want to give people some hope out there that once you learn a new habit, It's sad. It sounds terrible now, but you will find other ways. Like for me, I, I, again, I have a supplement that I really like that gives me, um, a little bit of energy in the morning. Some people it's cold water. Um, some people for some it's exercise in the morning, for me, I'm not awake enough for that, um, really early, but you'll find a way out of it. If, and you will find once you do it, that it is truly best for yourself and for your anxiety, for your sleep at night. Um, it's going to change a lot of different things for you. So just don't be so resistant to it. Because I, I basically, I believe in you, I think you can do it. So I know it's asking a lot.

Dr. Charles Barr 25:04

I think they can do it. Uh, and, um, you mentioned water actually, and that's actually a good supplement because, uh, most of us walk around a little bit dehydrated as well. Especially if everything we drink has caffeine in it, right. Because caffeine dehydrates us. And so instead of, uh, Having that cup of coffee, go have a drink of water and hydrate yourself well, and see if that doesn't really help with that. So good. I'm glad you brought that up. Very nice. Um, well, let's talk about breathing. Um, we talked a little bit in some of our others. Well, I think we all do it, but it's a matter of how we do it. Sometimes that can make a big difference. And so particularly I want. So talk about abdominal breathing, using your diaphragm, which is your breathing muscle. Now people may have heard this, but it I'm really wanting them to, uh, Practice using their abdominal muscles to breathe and to practice that breathing is very important and can really help. And so on the chart that we have, if you go and get the chart, You'll see that I've made a place for you to practice that three times a day. Now that sounds like a lot. Uh, it doesn't take a lot of time and it can make a huge difference for you in terms of the stress that you feel and, and, and letting your breathing reregulate your nervous system, right? Um, there is something about the abdominal breathing and about, uh, doing a full exhale and doing the abdominal breathing that that just really tends to reset the nervous system and, uh, helps us be a lot more relaxed. So. Uh, in order to practice that, one of the things that, that I would recommend is I would recommend that, uh, I think probably you tried this and use this, uh, Erica and I use it myself is to, um, lie down on a bed or sofa, or, uh, even sitting in a, in a reclining chair, that kind of thing. And put one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach. And then when you breathe, You just let your hand on your stomach move and you keep your chest still. So the hand on your chest doesn't move, but the hand on your stomach does move and it goes up and down. Yeah, I'm doing it now. So you, you have a, you have a young infant. And so when you, when you look and you watch him to make sure that he's still breathing. All you see is his little tummy coming up and down. And so every time his tummy goes up, he's taking a breath in, right. And when his tummy goes down, he's breathing out just like a small child. Just let your diaphragm do the work and let your tummy gently be rising and falling as you breathe in and out. And

Erica 28:11

it's easier said than done with breathing. I still have to work on my proper technique. I think I heard when I was younger to always be holding in my stomach because it was good for my stomach muscles, but what it wasn't really good for was my stress. Cause I'm, I didn't, I, I just am always sucking in. It's just something that I learned a long time ago. It, a lot of dancers do it and you can kind of. Kind of hinder yourself sometimes with that, because. You, you don't let the, the stomach push out and go back in, you know, you're kind of always holding it one way. So I am very guilty of not just being like, Oh yeah. Breathing with your stomach, pushing out and in that's easy. I, I, that's something I still have to work on. So technique matters.

Dr. Charles Barr 29:01

And, and those are all good things, but then when you want to relax, you need to be breathing with your abdominal muscles, with your diet. So it's diaphragmatic breathing, especially during, during the times that you want to relax. That really, really helped. You can focus in and allow your body to reset and relax. And so, um, I'm recommending that you do this three times a day, uh, sometime in the morning, preferably soon after you awakened sometime mid day, uh, lunchtime or mid-afternoon break that kind of thing. Okay. Um, and then at night before you go to sleep, if you will do the breathing exercise, it will actually help you get to sleep. So as a matter of fact, the breathing and the sleeping may, may end up going hand in hand and, and, um, help one another. Right. Nobody gets to do this perfectly. No one gets to do it perfectly. Just no one. So I won't do it perfectly. And you haven't and won't and our listeners won't. And so I want them to be gentle with themselves as they try this. And when they feel like they haven't gotten it or can't do it, or they're having a hard time with it, um, So I just want them to gently bring themselves back to the breathing so that they can focus on using the diaphragm. And, uh, so I think we have a, um, A relaxation CD. Don't we, that we're going to

Erica 30:38

with Dr. Barr's lovely voice that I've been using for years. And honestly, just going off of what you just said, there are still times to this day where I'm like, am I doing this right? So that makes anyone feel any better. I've been doing this a long time and I'm well-practiced at it. And I still question if I'm doing a good enough job sometimes. And that's when I say. Not to think. I tell myself, don't think too much about this. This is really very simple and let it be what it is for the moment that. It's there. You're just going to do the best unite. The idea is not to try too hard. I think it's just to kind of let yourself feel whatever you feel, if your mind wanders. So be it, try it, just try to get back on track and you can get that, um, by going to live free of anxiety.com/relax. They're not too short and they're not too long. And, um, Dr. VAR really guides you also on muscle relaxation, which is an excellent practice to learn. Um, it's something. But once you get that down, if you are, if you feel yourself starting to get stressed, you can start relaxing your face or your jaw, and, um, right in the moment of stress. And that makes a big difference. Um, it might not, it might sound foreign to you now, but once you get these practices down, it makes your life a lot better life free of anxiety.com/relaxed. And then, um, We also have our new year's resolution that we were going to share with you. We are bringing back, uh, the program that helped cure both Dr. BARR and me from anxiety slash panic attacks. Um, and we are working on that for you guys coming. Um, sometime this year we don't have an exact date yet, but we are really excited to improve the program and, uh, bring it to you now. So we're going to be keeping you updated on

Dr. Charles Barr 32:26

that. Yes, we will. And we are excited about that. So we're doing one step at a time and, uh, yeah, we have the goal. Now, one of the things that we also did is we wrote down our goal. And that was what I started with. I think, you know, as we, people don't plan to fail, they just fail. They fail to plan. And one of the ways of doing that planning is to write down what it is you're wanting to do. There is just something almost magical about writing it out on a piece of paper. Um, I've done this for years and I usually lose the paper by about March or April, somewhere in there. I'll, I'll have it on my desk and I'll see it and I'll read over it and I'll see what my goals are. And. Somewhere in there. I lose that piece of paper and I usually it resurfaces somewhere around November or December. And it's very surprising to me how many of those things I've actually accomplished during the year, because I wrote them down,

Erica 33:35

definitely writing down things, just so powerful.

Dr. Charles Barr 33:38

So let me encourage our listeners to write down their goal. Um, maybe your goal will be to, um, listen to the podcast on a regular basis and your goal would be to, um, send for this, uh, little chart that I made. And it's a very simple chart. You can duplicate that and use it and, and it's free. It's free. You have nothing to lose. And yet it's effective. Right? That's, that's the thing it's effective and

Erica 34:08

same with our relaxation audio that's free as well. Um, so any, so these two things we're offering you are both complimentary. I don't know if I, I said that, but, um, we definitely want you guys to, uh, to also write down, um, your sleep, your caffeine intake and your breathing. Um, because that's part of why we provided the chart is so you can also be tracking that, um, with your own hand, instead of, I know there's apps for tracking sleep and. When you fell asleep when you woke up, but I think this is a little bit different. Would you agree Dr. Barb, when you can actually write it down yourself, what time you went to sleep and what time you woke up and kind of keep yourself accountable in that way?

Dr. Charles Barr 34:54

Yes. And again, there's that personal involvement of writing it down yourself instead of just hitting a couple of buttons on your phone or whatever. Um, and I. It may well be that it ends up proving that that people who are tracking it electronically, that it will be effective. Um, but it still seems more effective to me if you're doing it with your own hand, rather than pushing a button. So, right. And you have something visual that you can see and that's very helpful. So keep it someplace where it is visible, where you can see and remind yourself what you're doing then.

Erica 35:34

Hold yourself accountable. And we want to remind you to rate and review our podcast. We love your ratings and reviews. We want to hear from you. We definitely want to hear from you. Um, and we also, you can also connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. Send us a question I'm actively on there. I can get back to you quickly. So you're not gonna. You know, get ignored or redirected somewhere. It's, it's actually me checking. So, um, make sure you, you connect with us there. Yes, I'm using my social media time wisely and Dr. BARR, I wanted to, I didn't get a chance to say this at the beginning, but, um, I did watch home alone this past Christmas. Oh, you

Dr. Charles Barr 36:20

did. I did. I

Erica 36:21

love that movie. There's something stood out to me this time. That reminded me so much of you. Um, and it wasn't when he screamed in front of the mirror or anything with his hands over his face, don't worry. It was, um, it was the part where he keeps going down to the garage. Basement, I guess, I don't know. We don't have basements in the basement downstairs. We don't have basements in Southern Keller. Okay. So he goes down to the basement and, and the, the like, uh, furnace thing comes alive in his imagination. It keeps scaring him. And then the second time he goes and it, it, it flares up again to scare him and he says, shut up. And, um, and that that's so funny because it reminds me of you in two ways. I know you had, you told me this one time when you were little, like you used to be afraid to run into the basement or something and you'd run back out really fast. Right. You had some certain, okay. So you're like

Dr. Charles Barr 37:18

Kevin McAllister so that we had a, um, we had a coal furnace in the basement. My chore was to go down and, and, uh, stoke the furnace. And, uh, we had, uh, I had to shovel coal into the, into the furnace and then, uh, into the hopper, getting down there and getting out. Was the worst part because the light was at the bottom of the stairs. And so I had to descend into this black hole and I used to promise myself that I was going to walk up the steps, very calmly and quietly, and I would get about two or three steps up and then just run lickety, split up the door, up the stairs, slam the door behind me and. You know, fall on the door to keep it closed. So the man couldn't get through the door.

Erica 38:05

Yeah. I had a garage similar situation, except we had rats, but we didn't have rats. Cause we were like infested. We had rats because the garage was downstairs near the backyard. And so things could get in and we didn't really have rats, but we could occasionally get something in there. So I know I would, I had the same thing where I had to go downstairs and I was always like, Oh my gosh. And I swear, I never, probably even really. Saw anything, but I would like think I saw something and freak myself out, but what I,

Dr. Charles Barr 38:32

as

Erica 38:33

I go, it's a rat tail, but what I, what I thought about you was also the whole don't engage fear. You know how he it's like. The scene is so perfect for people with anxiety, because it shows him actually go down there again and he could just run away all over again, scared, but instead he tells it this time shut up and I was thinking, Oh, that's so perfect because that's what Dr. Borrowy always says that you just don't, you're not supposed to engage your anxiety. You're supposed to basically say shut up, leave me alone and kind of recognize what's trying to get your attention. Uh, really cool. Um, especially on Netflix right now, they're doing four, like four movies. It's like dirty dancing, home, alone, Ghostbusters. And they talk about. Um, how the, how the movies were made. I had no idea home alone made so much money and did, I didn't really realize what a sensational hit it is, but if you watch that, that, um, on Netflix, it's actually pretty interesting. All the behind the scenes, like the house was actually the house, the whole house was actually done in a filmed, in a school gym. Did you know that.

Dr. Charles Barr 39:43

It's like, it's like, it's

Erica 39:45

not a real history, but yeah. House at all. Like they just shot the outside of the house. And, um, I don't know. It's just a lot of fascinating information. So if you do get some extra time, you can, you can watch that. I think it's called the movies that made us, so, um, but that's yeah. Very cool. Couple cool things about home alone right there, guys. So.

Dr. Charles Barr 40:05

Yeah, that's right. You get a lesson in anxiety.

Erica 40:11

He's still teaching us things all these years later. Thanks for joining us today. And, um, we will be back with you next week. And remember you can get our, um, 2020 chart to sleep better. Use caffeine lists and relax and breathe more. Um, by going to our Facebook and Instagram page and finding that post there. And you can also connect with us, um, in general there. And don't forget to rate us on the podcast app and make sure you tell her, please do

Dr. Charles Barr 40:43

yes. Please say nice things begging you

Erica 40:46

now, but happy new year.

Dr. Charles Barr 40:49

Happy new year. See you next time.

Erica 40:51

Just a reminder, head to change with two-ways dot com to find out more of that, about that program. Um, leave us a review so other people can find us and get these helpful tips from a licensed clinical therapist who specializes in anxiety and has for 30 years. I think that's pretty cool. I think that kind of sets us apart as a podcast. Um, you can leave us a review wherever you're listening. We love to read them. We do. We read all of them by the way. And we will be back with you next week. We've got some good stuff coming up this year. I'm so excited for it. I'm so excited for you to hear it. And I'm really excited to get more of you on board for the change program. It's seeing these results are so cool. It's like everybody loves on Instagram to see everyone's before and after weight loss picture. Because what I mean, why wouldn't you want to see before and after? Right. That's always extremely exciting. So for me to be able to read these before and afters, I can't tell you the joy. It brings me to keep this program going and to find out people are now at a level nine of happiness in their life. I mean, in their daily life too. That's pretty cool. So change that comes to the place and we'll be back with you next week. Thanks so much for tuning in today. I hope that something in today's conversation provided you with a feeling of hope, determination, or purpose. I know what you're going through, and that's why I want to give you some of the tools that helped me in my anxiety journey to get a free copy of free from fears head to freefromfearsbook.com to find out more about the CHAANGE anxiety treatment program. Find us at CHAANGE.com Thanks again for listening. And remember you are not broken You are not alone and you are on your way to living a life free of anxiety. See you next week.