Erica Roth 0:41

Well, hello there. Very glad to be back with you for the life free of anxiety podcast. It's Erica and I'm with face in again today. A good stuff ahead. She's going to be talking about adrenaline anxiety triggers and self-compassion, she's got some really interesting things to say about adrenaline, by the way, things that I learned a lot from, she's also the author of the book we were giving away this week free from fears, which we are. So excited to put in your hand, it's kind of a special day for us. We've been really looking forward to getting you this. I often don't get this excited to give anything away for free, but this I am, because you know, I've talked about it on the show before, but I spent many years for those of you who aren't up to speed I mean, thousands of dollars on books, they're puppies, counseling, you know, anything I could get my hands on. I tried. And then I met this wonderful man named dr. Charles Barr, who you hear on the show. Dr. BARR is a licensed clinical psychologist, so I don't ever want to come on and act like we're just life coaches or anything like that. All the information you get here is from a licensed clinical psychologist. And dr. Barra has been in practice for over 30 years. So when I found him, he directed me to two resources that changed my life. He believed in them because he had used them himself to overcome his own anxiety, which I couldn't believe that a therapist had had anxiety. I'd never had a therapist actually be open with me in his office, but he told me that he had a traumatic event with an earthquake. And, uh, he was already a therapist at this time, but it kind of shook him up and he had a lot of anxiety and panic attacks after that. So this was the program he used. And he told me that if I had to choose between going to see him because, um, I had to pay out of pocket and it was not, you know, cheap, um, to pay for his counseling session. He told me either just, you know, if you had to choose between seeing me or doing the program, Just do this program. So this is the program he put in front of me when I met him. Um, 12 weeks later, I was able to majorly break through my issues with claustrophobia. I read an elevator for the first time in a while without a panic attack, because I had, you know, of course been writing them here and there, but. I can never really do it calmly at all. And sometimes a lot of times I'll say I wasn't even getting on at all. I was just taking the stairs, which made me feel like a loser and like something was really wrong with me. And why was I so strange? I could see everyone else do something so calmly. It wasn't just the elevator. I had nighttime panic attacks. I just, I was really struggling. Life was really hard at this time. My story is just one of over 200,000 stories. So there's nothing really special about me or my recovery. It really, it was all about finding the right tools. So sadly, the two resources that changed my life and so many others to find a life free of anxiety faded away. That really made me sad because I wanted to help refer people to this program that changed my life. So long story short, it's kind of a crazy story. I approached dr. BARR and I hadn't seen him in a year and I called him randomly. And I said, I've been thinking about the change program. This is really strange, but, um, I just want to know if you want to revamp it or do something with it. Cause it's such a great program. This is a true story. I hadn't talked to him in a year. He called me back and he said, I just obtained the rights. To this program. So it's very strange that you called me because I just signed the paperwork this week. And then we kind of knew, we both knew, like, of course we're supposed to team up and do this. So we both, uh, we got on board, my husband's onboard. We, we merged to take over the change program. We've already heard from some of you who have used this program who are wondering how we can have, they can get it again. Well, we're bringing it back. So we started this podcast for one reason. We have so much compassion and empathy for anyone struggling with anxiety because we get it. We've had it. Um, we want to do anything we can to help you. We know how bad it is. And that's why we're so excited to do two things. First, we're giving away copies of the legendary anxiety book free from fears. As we explored our options, we realized that we couldn't just republish the book free from fears through a traditional publisher, because then we wouldn't be able to give it away. And we want to be able to give it away to you. That's important to us. So we made the decision to update the book, hire our own editor, self, publish, an updated version of free from fears and make it available for free. So as you know, faced in Covington, Is one of the authors and so is ANSI grave. So there's no catch. We're going to send you an ebook version totally free to you. You just have to go to free from fears, book.com. Again, this isn't something we will even make a penny off of. And if you want some additional resources that make fantastic companions to this book, including a variety of relaxation exercises and excerpts from the change program, you can add those for a few dollars more, but most importantly to us is just that you get a copy of this book. But as long as you read free from fears, we will be so thrilled again. And this is linked in the show notes. You can find that at free from fears, book.com. Now the second big announcement is really big. Um, we're bringing back the changing anxiety treatment program that helped dr. BARR. And I. Get over our horrible anxiety. Um, we're going to talk more about it, but in short, it's a 16 week program that has been found in multiple doctoral research studies to have an 81% success rate. And that's because most of the other 19% don't commit to finishing the program. So we want you to finish. Don't be in the 19%. we hope that with some of the improvements and updates we've made that number will be even higher. So later this month we're going to be welcoming, a small committed, motivated group of people into our beta launch group. It's the first time this program will ever be made available online. So we're really looking for people who are serious about putting in the effort and we'll be pretty involved in this initial group. Because we really need to go through the program once and test our technology. Before we make this widely available, the program will be dramatically discounted. I'm so excited. I love a sale. Don't you have a good sale? Um, I think we settled on a 75% discount, but the website will tell you for sure. So we're going to keep this group small. So if you're listening to this after the fact, I'm sorry, it might be full, but if you're interested in this, you can go to change. That's changed with two A's dot com slash beta. Again, I know this is a program that works for those who commit to it. So if you're a person who's willing to put in some real work for 16 weeks and trust me, it's worth, it had to change with dot com slash beta. One of the first things we're going to do right away is send you an intake survey, which dr. Bar will manually review. So if for any reason we don't think you're a right fit or that we can't help you, we will immediately give you a full refund, but, um, chances are we can help you. So, okay. Let's get onto the show face then. And I, um, had a great conversation and let's jump into that right now. Welcome to the life free of anxiety podcast, where each week we'll bring you another discussion to help you on your way to overcoming your fears. I'm Erica, and together with Dr. Charles Barr, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety. We'll be your guides on this journey because you are not broken, you are not alone, and you are on your way to living a life free of anxiety.

Faison Covington 8:12

The worry is you're going to die from this and you didn't benefit from it yesterday, but that doesn't mean you won't die from it today.

Erica Roth 8:19

Right. Yes,

Faison Covington 8:20

That's the fear that this person lives with. If, because the doctors haven't been able to say what it is and how to get over it, people think, well, how do I know it's not going to really kill me? How do I know that?

Erica Roth 8:36

my husband was saying was, I didn't even remember this, but he was telling me recently that I used to tell him, I think I have a breathing disorder. I think something, I really think something's wrong with my breathing. And I don't, I don't even remember that. That used to be what I tell him, but I guess it. I think, I, I guess it kind of rings some familiar when he says that, but it was, yeah. I mean, wow. How can we, how much can we convince ourselves of doom? My goodness. I don't have a breathing problem. I know that now.

Faison Covington 9:06

Isn't that wonderful that you know, that I said to me, that there's still people out there who think that today, today, right here, always speaking there's somebody who thinks. Because they are because their breathing is shallow and because they have an awareness of it.

Erica Roth 9:23

Yeah, I think that's why you, and I want to talk about this cause we get it and we want. We want everyone to not feel like this, especially somebody listening right now. We want to give you effective. You know, I want, I want you to have effective tools to live your life. I don't care who you are. I don't want you to live. Like I did. It was like you said earlier, you don't wish that on your worst enemy. Cause it, it really is awful.

Faison Covington 9:47

Yeah, I don't wish it. I would not wish it on anyone. I just, no, no, it's cool and punishment and nobody should have to live this way.

Erica Roth 10:02

it's mental torture.

Faison Covington 10:04

isn't it. It's just not fun.

Erica Roth 10:08

What do you say to somebody in your office? Who's having a panic attack these days? Cause I imagine some people panic in your office and I'm just curious, how do you, how do you talk them down or do you talk them down?

Faison Covington 10:21

Well, that is, that is the greatest question. Um, I'm never going to ask that question. So when somebody has a panic attack in my office, they're usually sitting, uh, maybe anywhere from six to eight feet away from me, and we're looking at each other. And there's no one else in the room and we're talking about anybody and the person would say, Oh, I'm having a panic attack right now. And I am telling you, Erica, I almost never knew it.

Erica Roth 10:51

Yeah. Right.

Faison Covington 10:52

I will say to them, I will say, okay, so first I want you to know that. I'm an expert in death. I've had death. I'm looking at you and I can't see it.

Erica Roth 11:08

Right.

Faison Covington 11:09

So I want you to, just to take us. I see you. Can't see. You can't hear also, I am not lying to you if you had not just told me, I would not know. So then if I were you feeling it, what are you feeling? You know it to go to where you're feeling it. If it's a breathing, go to your chest, go do your neck, go to your heart area, that your stomach go to your shoulders. Just let that part. Now you're here with it. I didn't know, you're here with it and that your say and look around the room, show it at your side, show it you're safe from any internal or external harm. Show you're sitting right here with a person who's an expert in anxiety and that you are completely safe. They'll do that. They'll do that for a minute. And I'll say, what are you noticing now? And they're saying, they'll say it's beginning to relax a little bit. It's beginning to go down. Okay. With you. And they say, yeah, that's okay. Let the leather part knows that that feels okay, but that's say it's safe for it to go away. They'll say, okay. And I'll say, okay, just stay with it for a minute. So see if you can send it some compassion. Say I can't, I can't send the compassion or maybe I'll say they can, but if they say they can't, I'll say what's between you and the part that doesn't let you send it compassion. I'm scared of it. I'll say. Okay. So ask her for your official step back for a minute and just let you send compassion to this part. And they'll say either yes or no, it will step back or it won't we'll step back. Great. Then we send compassion to the part that's having the symptom. If it says, no, I'm not going to step back. Then we work directly with the fear. So what is the fear need from you right now was the one you didn't know what to do. But it can relax them and we just sort of work with it. We just work with it the way you would work with fear. If you had it at home, you just go, okay. So did I not sleep well last night? Did I not drink too much caffeine? Did I just have some worry compressing in my mind that I grabbed onto? And now I'm, you know, we just work with it. It's never anything catastrophic.

Erica Roth 13:34

That's really interesting.

Faison Covington 13:36

something that the person I would tell people this, and it's the truth. I have never, ever since I got here to death had a single tiny symptom that I didn't know within about three or four minutes, why I had it

Erica Roth 13:53

Hm.

Faison Covington 13:54

I'll go. Yeah. Oh yeah. I shouldn't have had all that. Coffee. When I, when I went out with those people or, you know, they're there and my body is just giving me a little dizziness to tell me I need to go home and get some rest, and then I'll go to my body and I'll say, I'm getting ready to go get some restaurant now. And it'll always the thing about adrenaline is I it's, it's, it's our lifesaving mechanism for our species ear. So it's not, they're fine to hurt us. It is always coming in to tell us something. Now, after we gotten into a disorder, it's just banging around in our bodies and our heads just more or less, you know, not doing a whole lot of good, but once you get over there, if you have a symptom, there's always a message. There's a message. There's just, there's something. No, and I used to get it, um, when I would talk to, well, I hate to talk about my mother, but my mother drank alcoholically and when I was talking to her on the phone, if she was drinking, then I was very likely to get total worried or, you know, sort of anxious for a couple of days afterwards, until I finally realized, wait a minute. You spoke to your mother and it was upset. It's always upsetting when your very own mother doesn't make sense. I just, if you don't have an alcoholic, parent, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. That it's just not something that makes you feel great about why, but I didn't know that. Would cause me to feel this way for so many years. And so I was triggered every single time I talked to her and then eventually I got so that if she was drinking, I shouldn't talk to her. I will tell you mother, as my mother, somebody at the door, I'll call you back. I'll call you back.

Erica Roth 15:55

That's what was best for you? You knew that.

Faison Covington 15:58

Yeah. And that's called having more compassion for me than for her. Like is, am I, am I willing to put myself through this? Just because she happened to call me no, I'll call her back when she's not drinking, but that means you have to call early in the morning, but I'll call, but I'll call early in the morning. I would call her back and I wouldn't call her back that day.

Erica Roth 16:24

Yeah. And I,

Faison Covington 16:25

not.

Erica Roth 16:26

I think this is, this is exactly what's covered in, in the change program. And in this book, is these generally your story, your story right now that you're telling me is not. It's not necessarily unique. It's, it's kind of these, you know, these personalities that, that normally would stay on the phone and to, you know, to talk to their mom and to do what they should do and, and having these bodily reactions that are foreign. I know that when we're talking about bodily reactions right now, Most people are in the dark like, well, huh, I'm not really in tune with that, but I think that's what the beauty is of recovery is, is getting all of that knowledge, um, into play. And so, okay. I shouldn't, you know, I had this much coffee or I just talked to my mom and that's, what's upsetting me or getting to me. And, and that's where so much of the freedom is I love that example you gave of knowing what you needed to do.

Faison Covington 17:29

And D and V and doing it. Cause if you don't do it, then your body doesn't trust you. You want the anxiety to not overwhelm you, then you have to take care of yourself for the body. For the anxiety. Don't feel like it has to overwhelm you. So you let it know that you've got this and then you follow through you follow through it.

Erica Roth 17:52

So you don't avoid.

Faison Covington 17:54

No, ma'am.

Erica Roth 17:55

You're not sitting there avoiding. And that's another step that's talked about in the book is acceptance. Um, but that's, you know, something that are the readers can, or that's something that can be discovered when, when the book is read, but I think that's so that's so home based, that's exactly where you want to land is acceptance and these are all the parts of it and it's so, uh, it's changed my life. I can say that.

Faison Covington 18:24

Well, it's not a hard acceptance because all you're accepting is that your adrenaline cares about you cares about you.

Erica Roth 18:33

Yeah, I would have never thought that

Faison Covington 18:35

Your survival is paramount to your adrenaline. That is what is fair for. So if you can't take care of yourself, it'll shut you down. It'll ask you nicely first. It'll say, uh, say some and if you go, no, I'm not going to listen to you today. Then they'll give you symptoms. They'll keep giving them to you as we know,

Erica Roth 19:01

Right. As we know all too well

Faison Covington 19:04

as we know.

Erica Roth 19:06

All that terror in the end is my body caring for me. Oh really? Okay. If you say so.

Faison Covington 19:14

It is our adaptive. Mechanism for survival for are actually for all mammals for all primates, all primates it's it's what has made us survive

Erica Roth 19:28

it's an elegant design.

Faison Covington 19:29

every generation that breeds for you have a little boy. His, his adrenal system is very good because the people whose adrenal systems weren't good to have chores. So we are the product of generation and generation and billions of years, millions anyway, of years of primates whose adrenal system kept them alive long enough to have babies long enough to breed and have babies. So a lot of people who were alive at some point, didn't have babies. You know, the people who had poor adrenal systems. He didn't have anxiety that kept them from doing scary things or that made them shut down if they were overdoing, but it's people don't didn't have children. So all of those of us who are alive today are alive because I ancestors had wonderful adrenal glands. And we should be thankful for that. And, but we also need to be careful with it and not over expect too much. We just, we just have to realize we have finite limits as humans. We have finite limits and we have to take care of ourselves.

Erica Roth 20:49

Yes, we do. And I, I know you have to run facing, so I love everything you said today. I think what you said today was life changing. I think your, I know your book is life changing. Um, I just want to thank you so much for, for coming on today. It was you always, you always amaze me. That's all I can say.

Faison Covington 21:11

Well, you know, I love, I love talking to you so much. So ask me again and I'll come again.

Erica Roth 21:17

yeah, you'll be back.

Faison Covington 21:19

Okay. Okay, sweetheart. Take care.

Erica Roth 21:23

Okay, so thanks for listening. Great episode. Right? So that was the author of the book that we're giving away this week free from fears that was facing Covington. Get that book at free from fears, book.com. And also at the beginning of this episode, I mentioned our beta group. If you want to be a part of that had to change with two A's dot com slash beta. And that is to try out. Our a change program at a, at a major discount. I'm not sure what the discount is yet. So head over to that site and we will see if we can get you onto your life free of anxiety faster than you ever thought. Okay. I'll talk to you next week. Thanks so much for tuning in today. I hope that something and today's conversation provided you with a feeling of hope, determination, or purpose. I know what you're going through and that's why I want to give you some of the tools that helped to me in my anxiety journey to get your free copy of dr Barr's relaxation audio that helped changed my life forever. Just go to life free of anxiety.com/relax. Thanks again for listening and remember. You are not broken, you are not alone, and you are on your way to living a life free of anxiety. See you next week.